Why Your Baby CAN Sleep Well (And How to Make It Happen)

The truth no one tells you: Most babies and toddlers who “don’t sleep well” actually can sleep beautifully—they just need the right approach, consistency, and a little patience from their parents. Yes, this post is about you, and for you!

Disclaimer: I am no expert, just a mom who has done many and plenty of google searches. I took advice from others, followed “the rules” and was persistent. Maybe a little extreme some might say. But guess what? My nights are kid-free. And let’s be honest, that’s what we ALL need as parents. Not for our own sanity but for our relationships, our self preservation and our OWN sleep.

If you’re reading this at 3 AM with a crying baby, or if you haven’t had a full night’s sleep in months, you’re not alone. But here’s what might surprise you: your child’s sleep struggles probably aren’t permanent, genetic, or just “how they are.” With the right strategies and unwavering consistency, most families can transform their nights within weeks.

Why Sleep Matters More Than You Think

For Your Baby: Quality sleep isn’t just about giving parents a break—it’s fundamental to your child’s development. I can’t stress this enough. During sleep, babies’ brains process the day’s learning, consolidate memories, and release growth hormones. Well-rested babies show better emotional regulation, stronger immune systems, and improved cognitive development. Poor sleep can affect everything from your baby’s mood to their ability to learn and grow.

For Your Family: Sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired—it affects your mental health, relationship with your partner, and ability to be the parent you want to be. When the whole family sleeps well, everyone thrives. Parents report feeling more patient, more connected to their children, and more confident in their parenting abilities.

Note: you can insert “kid” wherever it says baby (in case you’re past the baby stage). Just remember… the older they are, the harder it will be to adjust… hence why it’s important to start young. Trust me, they will never remember that you made them cry in their crib for 2 hours, 2 weeks straight.

The Hard Truth About Baby Sleep

Most parents give up too early or aren’t consistent enough with their approach. If this is you, please try. And keep trying. And make independent sleep a priority.

Just like walking or talking, independent sleep is a skill that must be learned. Many parents accidentally create dependencies (rocking, feeding, or holding to sleep) that prevent their baby from developing this crucial ability. Yes it’s cute and easy at first when they are newborns, but doing these things too long will backfire. Newborn dependencies need to stop at 3 months.

Every baby is capable of good sleep. Barring medical issues, healthy babies can learn to sleep through the night and take predictable naps. The key is teaching them how and then maintaining consistency.

The first 3-5 years set the foundation. Sleep habits formed early tend to persist. Investing time and effort in establishing good sleep NOW saves years of nighttime struggles later.

Your Step-by-Step Sleep Success Plan

Note: this plan requires no co-sleeping. This requires babies to sleep in their own bassinets and cribs. I highly recommend a baby sleeps in their own room or at the very least, NOT in your room. Your room is sacred, keep it that way.

Newborns (0-3 months) I recommend you sleep in their room in a bed or floor mattress given the night wakes are constant. 3-6 months will be a transition period. Try to switch to your bedroom as often as you can and enjoy longer sleep periods. 6-9 months keep the routine and schedule going (as outlined below) and build on what you’re creating. 9-12 months, solidify your sleep routines and don’t waiver!

If you’re starting your sleep plan late to the game, that’s fine. Don’t panic. You can apply these same concepts and strategies to any baby at any age (even up to toddlers!). It just might be harder but push through the pain but everyone will be grateful in the end if you do.

Step 1: Create the Perfect Sleep Environment

The Room Setup:

• Keep the room completely dark (blackout curtains are your friend). Do not put your crib in front of the window. I know it makes for cute photos on instagram, but remember your priorities! Personally, I rarely even open the curtains in the kids rooms.
• Maintain a cool temperature (68-70°F is ideal)
• Use white noise consistently for every sleep period. Some say to use a sleep sounds your entire life. I agree.

Pro Tip: Your baby’s room should be so dark that you can’t see your hand in front of your face. Light is one of the biggest sleep disruptors. See example photos below. Even when traveling, I would cover the travel crib with towels (it looked like a dog crate!) But guess what, baby slept and mama was happy.

Step 2: Establish Age-Appropriate Wake Windows. And Don’t Waver From It.

Understanding how long your baby can comfortably stay awake between sleep periods is crucial:

• Newborn (0-3 months): 1 hour
• 3-6 months: 2 hours
• 6-12 months: 3 hours
• 12+ months: 5 hours before nap time, 5 hours before bedtime

These can vary up and down by 30 minutes or so, don’t stress if it’s not exact. If your 3 month old is only doing 1.5 hours, thats fine. If they are doing 3 hours thats fine too! The number above is an average. The most important thing is getting a consistent routine and a schedule (detailed below). Remember: your life takes a backseat. Schedule and routine takes priority for this to work. You stay home. You only have friends and family over during wake times. Don’t put yourself in a position not to succeed.

Step 2A: Full Feedings.

I highly recommend @fullfeedings where I learned a lot valuable tips and tricks. The concept is: full belly = good sleep. Yes, you can work on sleep training all day long but if the belly isn’t full you’ll only be halfway successful. I won’t go into the details of full feedings in this post but please side-bar this topic and follow up on it on your own time. It’s crucial to your sleep success story.

Step 2B: Eat. Play. Sleep. Routine

This is a game-changer for establishing healthy sleep habits and preventing feed-to-sleep associations. Here’s how it works: when your baby wakes up, feed them first (whether breast or bottle), then engage in age-appropriate play or awake time, and finally put them down for sleep when they show tired cues. This sequence ensures your baby isn’t falling asleep while eating, which helps them learn to self-soothe and sleep independently. The “play” portion doesn’t mean stimulating activities—for newborns, it might just be a diaper change, some gentle talking, or tummy time, while older babies can handle more interactive play.

Sample Schedule for a 3-6 month baby:
Click here for a Printer-Friendly File

Remember these Steps:
Eat. Play. Sleep. Repeat.
3/6/9/12 repeat – 3 hour feeding schedule 
60 to 90 minutes awake time 

3am bottle
3-6am sleep
6am bottle 
6:15-7am awake/play 
7am – 9am sleep
9:00 bottle 
9:15-10am awake/play 
10:00am – 12pm sleep 
12:00 bottle
12:15-1:00 awake/play
1pm-3pm sleep
3pm bottle
3:15 – 4:00 play
4-6pm sleep
6pm bottle 
6:15-7:00 awake/play
7-9pm sleep
9:00 bottle
9-12 sleep 
12:00 bottle
12-3 sleep
3am bottle

Step 3: Build a Consistent Routine

Bedtime Routine (30-45 minutes):

1. Bath or quiet play
2. Fresh diaper and pajamas
3. Feeding – this is #1 important. full belly = good sleep
4. Quiet book or lullaby
5. Into the crib awake but drowsy – this is #2 important. a small task with big rewards.

The Golden Rule: Your routine should be the same every single night, performed by any caregiver. Consistency is more important than perfection. Amen! If your husband or mother-in-law is helping, demand that they follow the rules. If they don’t, then sorry you’re going to have to do it. Help isn’t always help, am I right? If they do it right… reward them with lots of love. If they are better at the routine and the rules then you, lean into it and ask them to do it. Sacrifices will have to be made for ultimate results.

Step 4: Teach Independent Sleep Skills

This is where many parents struggle, but it’s the most important step:

Put your baby down awake/drowsy. If your baby falls asleep while feeding, rocking, or being held, gently wake them before placing them in the crib. They need to learn to fall asleep in their sleep space.

Choose your method and stick with it. Whether you prefer gradual methods or more direct approaches, consistency is key. Don’t switch methods every few days—give your chosen approach at least 1-2 weeks to work.

Expect some protest. Learning any new skill involves some frustration. This is normal and doesn’t mean your baby is traumatized or that the method isn’t working.

Step 5: Handle Night Wakings Strategically

For babies under 6 months: Feed when hungry, but do not engage. Keep interactions minimal and boring. No lights, no talking, straight back to the crib. (suggestion: a hall light or dim nightlight so your eyes can focus).

For babies over 6-9 months: Determine if they truly need you or if they’re just seeking comfort they can learn to provide themselves. Many babies wake briefly between sleep cycles but can learn to connect them independently. This also applies to one year olds and toddlers.

The Consistency Challenge: Your 14-Day Commitment

Real change requires real commitment. Here’s your challenge:

Days 1-3: Expect things to be harder before they get easier. Your baby is learning new skills. Clear your calendar for these days! You will be tired and frustrated.

Days 4-7: You should start seeing some improvements. Stay the course. Keep your calendar clear. You must be available during this time.

Days 8-14: Most families see significant improvement by this point.

The Non-Negotiables:

• Age-Appropriate Wake Windows
• Full Belly. Follow @fullfeedings for more information
• Same bedtime routine every night (along with routine naps during the day)
• Same response to night wakings
• Same sleep environment
• Everyone in the household following the same plan

When to Seek Additional Help

While most babies can learn healthy sleep habits, some situations may require professional guidance:

• Persistent sleep issues despite consistent efforts for 3+ weeks
• Signs of sleep disorders (very loud snoring, frequent breathing interruptions)
• Extreme resistance that seems unusual
• Medical conditions that might affect sleep

Your Sleep Success Starts Tonight

Remember: You’re not just trying to get through the night—you’re investing in your family’s long-term health and happiness. Every family that has transformed their sleep started with a single night of commitment to change.

Good sleep isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Your baby can learn to sleep well, your family can get the rest you all need, and night-wake sessions can become a thing of the past.

The most important thing? Pick your approach, commit fully, and stay consistent. Your future well-rested self will thank you.

---

Sweet dreams are closer than you think. Tonight, you begin the journey toward better sleep for your entire family.